My name is Sandor, I am at Stafford Creek Corrections Center in Washington state. I want educate people about prisoners and our mental state behind these walls. Many men have a hard time expressing what we have on our minds or feel. It is a constant battle for understanding. I hope my way of expressing my self will leave an impact.
I feel disconnected but I’m still looking for the reconnection, sometimes I feel helpless and hopeless as Mom cries over the phone, Dad is getting tired, Sister is non existent and my nephews are suffering,
I see violence, hear of rapes and seen suicides in my environment, tragedy is in my normality I’m enveloped in my tragedy, It’s pain within my flesh, anger within my chest, everyday is a losing battle I’m struggling for my composure, I got insidious serious violent suicidal tendencies invading my cranium, neurological trauma, psychological drama, I’m losing my mind due to this time,
So I self medicate to meditate over open bibles, arced sockets, blowing smoke overloading the frontal cortex, in context its brain damage I’ll chemically induced to help forget these 23years of continuous mental abuse,
Its punishment they want to dish out so they say I need to change my behavior, seven years not a threat or a lippy lip, they want behaviour change from a non behaviour problem, if they really knew me they would choose to learn from me, to school them on the economic collapse of hope and tragedy, to bring to focus The Republic of Plato and make sense of chaotic non sense from a Theory of Non-sense,
self educated with a interest in three majors, they see me as criminal so they scrutinize, but there’s a fine line between truth and lies, Jesus Christ never lied but they still crucified, yet they still wanna judge another, its the principle and justice is skewed, not a problem till you’re facing time feeling disconnected too.