These situations destroyed any dreams I had of becoming a success story from the streets, so I hardened my exterior enough to fake it and act like things were not so bad. I hid this truth from anyone who knew me, and anyone who tried to get close to me after that was immediately met with walls that they would have never understood.
I couldn’t make any friends because I was afraid that one of them would find out and expose my truth, so I became a loner. I learned quickly though, so, when it came to survival, I quickly became successful at doing ilegal things to keep my head above water.
With no family, no friends, and no one to be accountable to, I started dealing with drugs and prostitution myself. I think back now and I wonder if this choice was made to try to change the image I had of myself. So became my life, drugs, hotels, and I will say the money was not bad.
After a few years, I started to want something better for my life. I knew this kid name Anthony that I went to school with, and his family had a church in our neighborhood, so I started hanging out behind the church, hoping no one would see me, and he would bring me food after the sermons.
I would sit and listen to his father preach and I remember thinking this God must not know about my situation, because all I heard him talk about was how much this guy loved everyone. I never really understood why those sermons would stick in my head other than I guess I became angry at this GOD for not loving me like he loved everyone else.