Category Archives: * Poems *

The Prison Within

The Prison Within By: Stephen C. Olsen 10/13/49-05/08/93
Copyright December 21, 1989 Edited by: C.L.O.

Trapped inside these dark priosn walls, Unbelievable choas inhabits these halls. I’m not quite sure just what my crimes were, Perhaps lust, greed, or Euphoria’s lure. For twenty odd years I’ve been serving my time, A life without purpose, or reason, or rhyme. An existence of hatred confusion and pain, I created kindness, mercy and love with disdain. I trusted no person be they woman or man, for someone to care didn’t fit in my plan. When peopl are nice then you’d better beware, cause they’re out to get something by pretending to care. Beaten down by life’s problems which all seemed so great, I rejected compassion and relied upon hate. When the load got too heavy I looked not for hugs, but instead found solace in my booze, and my drugs. The prison I speak of is the life that I lead, and it’s governed by habits, by thoughts, and by deeds. My cell is a place hidden deep within me, From which it appeared I could never be free. Many had tried to lead me outside, but I would not follow for I had too much pride. I’d stick all my problems away on a shelf, for I was certain my habits I could beat by myself. When finally my burdens crushed me to the floor, a man walking by offered to unlock the door. “but first” then he added “you must give me the key, for only by sharing your load can I help you be free.” Before your release can hope to begin, you must open yourself and let someone else in. That old way of life for me is now gone, yet the urge to use drugs may sometimes come on. When it does I’ll reach out for the help of a friend, cause I know with that help I can survive in the end. So be it, N.A., a friend, or your wife, reach out for that help, and you may save your life! this poem was written by my father in 1989 I will include the foreword later….C.L.O.

http://www.jonathankeenangordon.name

Jonathan Gordon
DOC #793350

“PropheticVisionsOfanUntamedBrain”

Godsandspiritsenergiesandsoulstheyandwe
What
Themsandtheystheseandthose
Silence
Whoandwhathowandwhere
Happily
Foundthefreeandboundthebe
YouaretheyandIamwe
Couldntcanandwouldntdone
Daddysdaughterandmothersson
Shouldntisanddidnthas
Stayedtorun,stayedtorun
Twofromone
IhavelostandIhavewon

— ByTheOneNeptarianFriend

Daron Sleeper
DOC #793282

WASTED TIME

 

jesssss-copy

 

The time I have wasted is my biggest regret,
Spent in these places I will never forget.
Just sitting and thinking about the things I have done,
the crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun

Now its just me and my hard driven guilt,
behind a wall of emptyness I allowed to be built.
I’m trapped in my body just waiting to run,
back to my youth with all its laughter and fun.

But the chase is over and there is no place to hide,
everything is gone including my pride.
With reality suddenly right in my face,
I’m scared alone and stuck in this place.

Now memories of the past flash through my head,
and the pain is obvious by the tears that I’ve shed.
I’ve asked myself why, and where I went wrong,
I guess I was weak, when I should have been strong.

Living for the drug and the wings I had grown,
my feeling were lost, afraid to be shown.
As I look at my past its so easy to see,
The fear that I had was afraid to be me.

I pretend to be rugged, so fast and so cool,
when actually I’m lost, like a blind old fool.
I’m getting to old for his tiresome game,
of acting so hard with no sense and no shame.

Its time that I chance and get on with my life,
Fulfilling my dreams for a family and wife.
What my future will hold I really don’t know,
but the years that I’ve wasted are starting to show.

I just live for the day I can get a new start,
for the dreams I still hold so deep in my heart.
I hope I can make it, I at least have to try,
because I’m heading toward death and don’t want to die.

jjesse

If you have any questions or comments that you want to ask or share with me. Feel free to contact me at JPay.com

Jesse Bailey
DOC #879476

THE FEAR OF LOVE, DIVORCE, REJECTION, OR SEPARATION.

 

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A love was that keeps lovers apart, is
destined to be an endless life
loneliness and separation.

A love that cannot be, because of one
persons fear, will never get beyond the
mind.

A love that is set aside for the living of
ones own life, cannot cheat an
unexpected death.

A love that whose foundation is
whole, existence real, a center empty,
can only dissipate within the
blackness of that center.

A love that can never get beyond one
persons Heart does not exist, or does
it?

BORN.

The tears I have shed can only dry
upon my face, while your touch is not
here to wipe them, nor your kiss to
accept the taste.

My Heart cries out each day and
night, as my Soul slowly dissipated
before know one’s eyes.

I sit within the darkness of my room,
and wonder if this is how it feels to
Die.

I have know one in my life, and
sometimes I cannot even feel me, my
Soul is trapped in this bodies shell,
would that it could have always been
free.

I realise now that you have never been
right beyond my touch, and I cannot
miss what I have never had, but I
have loved you much to much.

I don’t need to hear sad songs or, live
in this constant pain, I can only wish
not to be reborn and go through this
again.

Lennie Cain
DOC #634796

I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU CAN MISS ME WITH ALL THE DRAMA

I love you, but I am sick of all of the arguments
I let you stay with me for free & don’t even charge you rent
Sometimes, you hard not to resent

Other times I find myself softened by your large heart
It’s like being on an out of control roller coaster, wild
When it comes to being drama queens, you should’ve been the poster child

Sometimes I wonder why did you even choose me?
If all you want to do is call me names & abuse me
I feel like all you want to do is use me
The things that you do confuse me

You be listening to all your trifling friends who be interfering in our own personal business, in our house way too much
Desperately using their so called “advice” as a crutch
They’re making all these assumptions & accusaitons without even a shred of solid evidence in which they can firmly clutch

All those bugs they be planting in your ears
Is part of the reason we been having this drams for so many years

Did you know you are the first & only person that I have ever loved?
Heck, we eat together, shower together, go everywhere together, we even have some of the same likes & dislikes & share the same bed
So why can’t we llive in peace & let all this unnecessary drama be dead?

To easy all the anxiety & stress, I remind myself of all the happ experiences: the picnics, the movie theatre & the dates
My heart is softened by the laughs we used to share & the good food that we ate
Even the dogs was happy, because when we came home we let them kill the leftovers off the plate
Can’t even forget about all the nights we watched your horror movies & stayed up on the couch cuddled up all late

That’s just to let us know that regardless of the trouble we endured, we are together to this day, still & in it for the long haul
When I get locked up, you still accept my calls

Our families & friends never hoped or expected we’d last
I was seen as a womanizer, with no respect for you & no class
They told you to forget about me, forget about the history & find someone else & move on from the past

Maybe you’ll find someone who will know how to treat you
Not someone like me who probably be lying, is potentially able to beat you & cheat on you

but fortunately, we stuck it out through thick & thin, the good, the bad, the ugly & here we are
That’s why we are now so grateful
It would’ve been easy to become vindictive, vengeful & hateful

But through it all, we have gronw up & become way more mature
Learning lessons from the past & are more emotionally stable & secure
Trusting that our motives & intentions is pure
When my mind was sick & I was lost in the world of drugs, you was my cure

Part of the reason I had changed was for you, you kept we well grounded
You’ve always been down to earth & well grounded
Thinking about how far we have come, how can we not be astounded?

http://www.jonathankeenangordon.name

Jonathan Gordon
DOC #793350

Into The Deep

Caught up in this wave, my arms are tired of paddling.

It would be so easy to stop kicking and slip away.

My head above the surface, my body full of pain.

Crying out for someone, my heart feels the strain.

The tide keeps pulling me under, I need to breathe, and I keep thinking that my life was a waste.

All that i could have done, the words I’ll never get to say.

My lungs fill with shame, and yet, here I remain.

Why do I choose this pain? I keep swimming for what reason? What do I hope to gain?

Barreling underwater twisted in this wave, I come up, the sun shines bright upon my face.

Suddenly I realize that I cannot escape my fate.

Effort spent on suffering, and fighting this wave, contemplating past days, becomes a waste.

Floating in the ocean, I meditate.
Understanding, I must let go, to live fully in this moment before I am washed away.

This choice I make, to become one with the wave.

I release all of my pain, I let it go, I’ll just let it be,

For this breath of life, right now, is all that I need,

sliding down this wave as it tumbles over me.

I can see through the other side, as water flows under me.

I smile, and give thanks to the Great Spirit watching constantly.

I am grateful to have chosen joy amongst the chaos this ocean brings.

For I am free to have faith, and believe, that every moment that I live, I can live purposely lovingly, laughing happily, awakened spiritually, living the visions I imagined to become my reality.

Zachary James Santos
DOC #300774

First Winters Chill

With the coming of the wind, seasons will
will change, summer love is gone, friends
say their goodbye’s, and children will cry.

Mothers and fathers cuddle by a late night
fire, in warth, happiness, and desire.

Their love-making is beautiful, tender and
Oh so sweet, as the love from the past, and
future meet.

Sharing the warmth until they have had
their fill, awaiting the next year, and that
First Winters Chill.

I wrote this one during the winter time, wishing to be by the fire, sharing the warmth and love of a special lady.

Lennie Cain
DOC #634796