At age 16 I left home.
I moved in with an older lady. The sex was amazing! She did things to my young ass that would make Jenna Jamison blush!
She kepy me high and drunk. She gave me whatever I wanted. I was spoiled and had no structure. I dropped outta school. I did whatever i wanted to do. I stole, lied, cheated, fought and ran the streets at all hours.
One day I spoke to a family member who was upset when they answered the phone. I asked, “what’s wrong?” They told me that their ex-boss was verbally and mentally harrassing them over some money that was missing from the house he lived in. He was coming by their house and would sit out front, stalking. He called thier place of employment and speak evil and vile things to whoever answered the work phone. This had been going on daily for weeks. They were scared and the police wouldnt help.
I asked, “Do you want me to take care of it?”
They asked, “How?” I told them to drop me off at his house on your way to work and I’ll kill him. End it all now. The lack of emotion and raw savagery shocked them to their core. They advised me against it.
I heard enough. My blood was boiling and the drugs in my system pushed me ove the edge. It was time to take this matter into my own hands and protect my family.
On the night of March 14th, 1999 I walked 5 miles to his home.
I quietly climbed up the outside balcony to the second floor of this mans apt. complex.
I tiptoed up to the sliding glass window and peeked inside. There was the back of his head. Sitting in his chair listening to birds on the radio.
The noise covered up the slide of the door. I slowly crept up behind hime. I had a choice to make. I knew I wanted to kill him. But how? The knife in my pocket? No, too bloody. I took off my Navy issued belt. I swear he can hear my heart pounding and will yell for help any minute.
I struck like a viper. Wrapping the belt around his exposed throat. I yanked it tight as his hands reached up to try and pull it away. I had the leverage. He was no match. I squeezed the belt tighter and tighter as he gasped for breath. I choked the life out of him for what seemed like forever.
Was it really over in 2 mins?
I started to ransack the home. Taking watches, knives, money, rings, guns, radios and DVD’s.
I heard a strang noise behind me. I looked back and he was moving around, groaning.
It wasnt like in the movies. I had to do it again. I put the belt around his neck and squeezed it until I felt blood running down my hands from his ears. I could see the capularies bursting in his bulging eyes. After I checked his pulse I realized that it was over once and for all. No more problems.
A life with no structure, a mind clouded by drugs and alcohol led to this errant choice. I now see that I have devestated many peoples lives by my actions.
And for that…. I am sorry.
Today I am a changed man. I am no longer a lost little boy. I have found my way.
My journey starts NOW!!
In the wind.