Under The Night’s Sky

My first draft of this post was wholly unacceptable. Too much meandering and not nearly enough point making in it’s content. Although wandering and digression do seem to be bad habits of mine in writing. Perhaps I will do better with this draft.

Let me put it to you this way, as I am sure you have many amazing memories of evenings where you saw outstanding moonrises or the wee hours of a morning that you stared up at that star filled sky and found yourself in complete awe. Well, so too have I but with perhaps a perspective more askew than yours.

I began Cycling as a form of transportation at the age of 15 full time. It took off for me fully four years later when it was my sole form of getting to and fro. Way back then I kind of hoped that I would always stay on a bike. I wanted to be that older middle aged fit guy who slung his bike on his shoulder as he climbed up the stairs to his apartment. But, we all change as life moves and we go with it. My last good day’s of riding ended in 05. This was the year I started driving everywhere for work and it was part of what I lost within myself along the way to coming here.
When this is over I will be back on a bicycle most likely until I absolutly cannot do it. I figure 85 or so, hahaha! Anyway, there is a great line in the movie Singles that may have been borrowed from someone else but it resonates and is the essence of this posting. The character say’s ‘I just like the way the world looks from a bicycle.’

So, like you I have many great memories of riding home i or going to work early in the morning and seeing the moon or stars and so many other things as well but when you are on the seat of a bicycle I believe you are more in the world and not on it, which is a paraphrase of one of the great poets, possibly Walt Whitman but I am often mistaken on my poetry.

To describe what it feels like to ride in the pure chill of four a.m. In early February and watch the Moon set as you make your way to work is difficult because I am sure we have all felt that other wordly sense of grace and wonder even if you are sitting comfortably in a car. But, the joy of the moment is uniquely different when you brave the cooling night air of October to make your way home and the Moon rises slowly and light’s up the dark roads.

I probably have fifty really astounding memories of being out riding in the night to get home or get to work. At least five of them I was drunk when I left to make my way home, and one of those five had a possum involved! I would like to share just a few that I reflect upon often here because we do not get much time with the Moon here or even the night sky because it is so obscured by all the damn light’s! Next time you find yourself flying at night and looking out a window, if you see a compound in the middle of nowhere and it is lit up everywhere, yeah, that is most likely a Prison. So, part of the punishment is that we never really experience the night sky as it truly is, hell, we are lucky to be able to see Mars and Venus.
It is not something I realized until about a year into being locked up. You really lose that sense of darkness and the feel that nightime offers. You miss it if you are like me and have always enjoyed the possibilities that evening offers. Even the simplicity of how the house feels when it is late and you have one lamp on in a room and it is just you and the still quiet, that is something, ahhhh but I digress as I warned you I might.

Let me share a few memories to wrap this all up. For many, many years I believed that the only place the Moon beamed to my satisfaction was in the east of the Arizona desert. The way it would come up and shine so bright in the dry heat was the only way I ever wanted to see it. Many night’s I remember contemplating the Moon or Sky as a teenager out with friends hanging out in the empty desert or at a park near home. These remain special moments in my history because although we see the Night Sky all our life sometimes we do not connect with it right away. My preference towards the night began in those adolescent years and has grown deeper as I have aged.

The best moment I contemplate even today occured way back in 93. It had been a month or so since Lisa and I had broken up,(this was the second girl named Lisa I had dated that year.) and she called to have me come pick up a bike I had loaned her. I knocked and this guy answers and so I am like, ‘shit this is awkward!’. She comes out from hiding behind this guy and get’s the bike. Now, I am not gonna lie, I had hopes that Lisa would call and want to work things out, eventually. This clearly indicated that was not going to happen. As I headed east back home I looked up and watched the 3/4 moon rise. So I put in my Concrete Blonde cassette and played ‘Mexican Moon’. With no sadness and no regret I let go of Lisa fully in that moment and moved forward in my life. Closure does not always come that easy but that one was great.
If we move ahead a few years I can share with you one night where I was now up here in the North West and we had a really good full moon in July of that year. I was out between Enumclaw and Auburn and I stared out at the majesty of Mt. Rainier in full moon glow. You see it often enough living here but at night it is different.

My last really outstanding one is seeing the Moon light penetrate through gaps in the clouds and shine down on the lake I was paralleling about fifty miles east of Spokane. I even puled over just to stare at it for several minutes because c’mon how often do you get to see something that spectacular?

I ride mostly city streets on the bike but when you take it out onto roads far away from home you have a completely different perspective of sounds and air. When it is only your breath and the whir of the gears you notice so many things, especially if the road is super dark and you just want to get through it. It is like your senses are on high absorption and you are aware of everything at once.

Walking also creates a special relationship with the world and if I may indulge one last memory here. My last residence was only about a mile from this great look out point in Seattle called Sunset Hill. The many night’s I walked from home to there and back are full of lovely wonderful memories for me that help remind me of why the little things that we take for granted are important to value as often as we kind remind ourselves to do so.

I feel like when we cherish the moments we have with friends or just being alone with our thoughts, that is the time we are more in the world than on it. Till next time.

Ronald May
DOC #359444

IT’S THE REMINDERS, that keeps us focused….

*Indeed all praise is due to God, we praise Him and seek
His aid and assistance and forgiveness..

We seek refuge in God from the evil within ourselves and the evil of our actions..

O’ people,, fear your lord who created you from a single soul and created
from this soul it’s mate and sent forth from the two of them
many man and woman..

Rhetoric and argumentatious in affairs of Religion, and pointless debates is considered a newly invented affairs and it can sow the seed of doubt
in the heart and prevent one from recognizing that which is true
and correct..

And knowledge involves following and practical application..

Applying it helps us to understand the sickness and it’s cure..

I testify that there is no deity worthy of
worship except God and Muhammad is his final Messenger..

It is God who realizes -(make true)- the hope and may He
generously bestow upon us blessing in accordance to what is right, the
truth, guidance and uprightness upon the correct path by his favour and benevolence.

The End….

Take care *

Steve Anderson
DOC #288318

HOLIDAY SEASON FUN

Every year our units have a door decorating contest. There are quite a few people who get into the sprit and decorate thier door. Afterwords a picture is taken with you infront of the door.

I like the picture, so I usually put a few things up just so I get a picture because its a easy way to get one with the dog too.

This was the first door I did and got one taken with me and Deedee:

cimg2112

The following year I didn’t do a very good job on my door so I went and asked if I could take one at the door that won.

This guy spent 7 months working on his door in the cell then transfered it to the front the day before judging.

image-5

This year Steve and I worked on our door together. Normally its just me. My celly’s don’t normally help. Their to cool to decorate the door.

This year Steve’s wife sent some ideas for us to think about. We tried to duplicate one of the pictures we saw:

snow-man-door-decor

As we were making snow flakes and other trinkets for the door Steve asks if we can listen to some special music to set the mood. I said, sure not realizing what I just agreed to.

I put in the tape and hit play. It was Christmas music. I don’t like Christmas music at all, never have, never will! Plus I am not the decorating type either. My mother can cosign for that.

So now I am doing everything I don’t like to do and actually having a liitle fun. But, the music was getting to me. About ten minutes was all I could stand.

As we were doing all this people kept stopping by and asking what we were doing. When Steve started to explain it they kinda got involved some.

Some people made snow flakes. We had the unit paint porter paint the cardboard door blue with the paint roller. All we have are tiny brushes. And another guy made our candy cane out of empty paper towel tube, and painted it too.

Only 5 doors in the unit were decorated. And one wasn’t even a Christmas door. It was a HAUNIKA door.

After it was all said and done we came in third place. Which wasn’t to hard considering the options.

All in all it was fun I guess. I made presents for the kids, decorated my door and as hard as it was for me, to listen to x-mas music too. I kinda did that for Steve really.

Jesse Bailey
DOC #879476

DOG CLASS AND DISAPOINTMENT

Every Tuesday we have dog training class as a group. All the dogs and trainers get together and our head trainer hold class to find out how the dogs are doing.

Its a time to show what your dog has learned or hasn’t learned for that matter.

Its a time where she can make assessments and or evaluate each dog. At this time she can either promote a dog to the next faze of bandana color or not.

They all start in red. As they get better at their commands and behavior, they get promoted.

Today Willy got promoted to green. Its just what he deserved. However not all the dogs deserve it. Let alone be promoted behond red.

Today was dog meeting day. Its where the dogs get to meet in class for the first time.

When doing this, you really have to have a good hold of your dog when another dog is comming up to it to sniff. Because you don’t want anything bad to happen.

We let the dogs sniff each others buts first, before we let them go face to face. It prevents dog bites and attacks.

We are doing this two at a time. when one of the dogs went to sniff he decided to bite the others tail right at the base.

Just what we were trying to avoid.

He latched on and started to shake. The handlers jumped to action and pulled the dog off. While the handlers were pulling them apart, the dog that was being bit was peeing from being scared. Who can blame him, his ass was being chewed.

That was the second dog that was attacked by this other dog and the third attack in total so far by him.

This is the animal that needs more work on behavior. It’s also lacking a lot in the over all training too. Doesn’t really listen at all either.

But guess what?! This dog got promoted to the final color. Graduation green! What the Hell!

There has been a totally of 4 training classes so far. And most of these handlers don’t know what there doing. In my opinion only 2 dogs deserve green. Both dogs can do all of there commands off leash and behave the right way.

This is exactly the type of thing I am talking about. Why should that dog be held on the same level as the others that deserve the promotion? All the dogs and handlers should not be treated as equals if there not.

To hell about peoples feelings. If you want something, then earn it! But no, apparently that’s not how this thing is being run.

I have gotten to the point of, ” If you can’t beat them join ’em “. I still take pride in training my dog to the best of my ability. That will never change. My dogs are always top of the class.

I just try and worry about me and what’s at the end of my leash. That’s it.

That doesn’t stop me from Thinking about it. Just acting on it. Sometimes I dwell on it because I get so mad and frustrated. Its so hard sometimes not to let these things rent space in my head.

Just this morning some random guy sitting at a table next to mine at breakfast ask me about the dog program.

He said that he came from another prison dog program. That its nothing like this one. That his was structured, followed a consistent curriculum and inmates were held accountable for their dogs.

I told him that this one used to be like that but somewhere along the line a crack was formed and those thing seem to have fallen through.

When a random person says things like that I know I am not alone in how I feel about what this program is.

It boils down to I hope this dog doesent hurt another dog or even another person.

Jesse Bailey
DOC #879476

SOME PEOPLE PLAN TO BE TOURIST IN YOUR MIND , about your life)….

*They’ll intrude on your thought’s, actions and belief’s wanting yours to be as theirs or similar, over powering yours dressing theirs up to be appealing in every way to and for you..

It may start slowly but in the process if your not a strong individual you’ll (loss the war and yours ways of speaking..

A small display of such motives can be seen from the unbalance ness
that’s all around in their life, confusion will always tell you a story,
the law is [it’s only for the people that play fair]..

Just because it looks fun, or looks good to eat, or sounds
good, do not get fooled to be the fool..

To be decieved is always another persons gain, it’s much knowldge to
be gain from pain and miss-moves made, only if your focused
and have the knowledge to winning this kind of war..

Have you been gotten ? ?

Robbed of your “inter” within rights ? ?

The functions of your thought process can be captured by a person with fancy wordplay, just as fresh smelling perfume captures one’s attention, all very similar, one is captivated..

Ok let me explain what I mean by your “inter” within rights..

They are yours, to be developed as you see fit to and for a
healthy life style created with the best of your abilities..

The guidance will come from your beliefs, what you hold to be
dear within, selfvalues , as to intrust, honestly respect, honour to and for..

It’s much more to that, the things that brings life to be
joyful, wonderful and so on, and good company is hard to find..

Your feelings, how you choose to say and do things, what thoughts
you give airtime to…

Along with the functional thoughts that flows into strong feelings about this or that, onto what’s important and why, all parts that make you
stand strong on your own and what makes you unique and able to
make sound decisions..

Some people have the ability to become tourist’s in your minds, only
if you give your rights away, and always saying yes can be
bad business..

It my be soon the time is coming were their worldly thoughts and feelings and many of their beliefs will become dismissible they will start to get old to you, for two reasons…

#1- you’ll want to start to have your own opinions and feelings about worldly issues, matters, situations and life, a say to and for all that has to do with you..

#2- you will come to see all that they say and do has a lot of negativeness for ones heart and soul or to much untruth will start to surface to the light…

Other matters, issues, ill ituations and acts towards others and yourself will surely drive you away from such people, I love calling the others..

You can’t be upset or mad at them cause someone else gave
them the inherited knowledge, bad and good ways, along with the wrong values and beliefs, its so much more and yes they are inheritor..

It’s so imperative that you surround yourself with people that love to
share their ideals, opinions, and real thoughts, and feelings, growth comes from ones actions and words..

Just as words have the power to make you happy or sad, all
depending on how words are spoaken, and on how you understand them..

The importance of honesty and seeking sound knowledge, on all types issues, matters, situations, learning is to have the rights to say I know and understand, and to be able to add to a conversation with honesty and knowledge is fun and it brings much growth..

It’s more serious then one being 11yrs old and finding out there really
aint no stanta closs..

Anytime you have to go back and fix something, it dam well should
piss you off cause you gave time to download something that you
thought was true..

You got to love the truth, but never the wasted time given to
listen to a person speak the untruth is to create a problem for another day..

The others get down like that lying just to kick it, they aint
living right or with the truth within themselves, hitch hikers for sure
and it shows their trying way to hard to fit in makes only
you a fool for trying to be who your not..

It happens when one is having a weak monment within their thought, or not havi,ng control of your thoughts give others people the power to places their beliefs and so on within you..

Mind played upon ? ? sometimes we just agree to shutdown the gibberish, that has nothing healthy and positive that will bring growth into ones life..

Just to reflect back in time I remember my brother wife was joining the army, and suddenly It came to be a good ideal to my mom and my siser inlaw that I should join also, (NOT)..

At that time I was banged out and running my own pharmacy in
the streets, having money, woman, and bunch of fun, well back then
that’s what I thought was fun..

Most of my life I didn’t take knowledge or beliefs from other people unless I
could add something of my own to it to make it work better
for me, pulse I never was one to like another person they were telling
me what to do..

Never been a follower or let other peoples negative thoughts or behavior affect me in anyway I always did me..

It’s their belief’s, folse hopes, negative ways and thoughts, it’ll bring you
down in a depressed mood, and to me it’s just way to much
to be happy and thankful for, like air..

I keep saying words hold so much power, yes even over your mind,
and your actions, only if you learn to control the power within
you and become versatile, with all you do and know, knowledge imperative..

For some people, yes it is to late for any get back,
they been got, it like not having a life cause another thinks for
you like they know what’s best for another..

That what fucks with my mental cause it’s your life, and I come
to dislike those who oppresse others..

Its many reasons why it’s a must that you always stand up for yourself
even if bad was to take place in the next moment, the important
part is you standing up for your self..

In less,, You have a handycap, or is dangerous to self and others,
and are on meds to you cool..

Many and I have said bullying is way out of line, and very uncool
people, if you see such an act and do not stop itsuch oppression
on another human being, that makes you the bad guy in my book,
very uncool and it’ll clearly show your not [JUST]..

We all have been giving a command by God, too act and share
good tidings..

Many people have settled on so many lies on different issues, situation,
and matters, the half truth has became the new fabb, and many
of the things that was never showed or said on TV has a
free run today..

The acceptance level of America in the last ten years is that anything
goes, Morals and Values are water down in bullshit reasoning that should never have gotten any air time,, and that’s why were really living
in our last days..

It’s hateful ways and incorrect of knowledge dealing in religion and history, and other issues on the daily, we can save others that’s
not so far gone on this journey of destruction that have no
reason or place to be in ones life..

For example, of being irritated, agitated, hyper, cranky, and super – intense – states that all go together very eastily – these states will seem to
us to be perfectly normal…

We won’t see any good reason for not being that way…

Thinking it’s normal, we’ll even assume everyone else is the same way,
and accuse others of being irritable, agitated, angry, or whatever…

If we allow this disease of our thought process along with the unhealthy thinking patterns to have it’s way regularly, especially daily, then you are not being the best you can be…

This makes you an inheritors, yes by you not doing the homework,
the math people brings success within your temple, you must understand all we see and hear shouldn’t get airtime…

But you can’t do something different until you seek the knowledge that would give you newer productional thoughts with the tools to not just
think differently, but it’s real lovely to be who you are…

We have to develop the power to fight off the influence of
such diseases as they arise, it’s so many very wonderful reasons why
it’s of the most importance to seeking knowledge, too when is to
know and understand..

For this we must develop tolerance and endurance…

When was the last time you became happier when you heard someone saying something about you ? ?

Isn’t this a refreshingly new perspective ? ?

If we can bear blame without cringing, our tolerance and endurance are
in good shape..

If we became immediately defensive – I don’t do that ! I’m not that way !
it is a sign that one need to develop
more inner strength..

Even if we are blamed for something we did not do, that
we know nothing about, we still shouldn’t be thrown off center and
give in to having negative emotions..

One can remain composed and calm, and handle the situation in a light
and creative manner..

I love calling this (THE ANEW), because at this time you get to
respond not like everyone else, or the old you, but in a new
creative fashion this will bring you new resolutes..

Criticism and ridicule are extremely purifying.

Public embarrassment may be a great blow to the ego, yet are you
bring attention to yourself, that also can damage the ego..

When we create different thoughts we think differently so having thoughts that things are hard or something is going wrong, that should be a sign for you to develop patience and tolerance, so if and when
you have to assist or handle a situation your toolbelt is full..

We can shift our perspective so that anything can be seen in a
positive manner at any given time, that decision is your, in saying
how would I Iike to precieve this matter, and you have rights to ponder..

To put it plain and clear God told everyone you will be tested..

So you should look to gaining something from all issues, situations, and altercations, and remember knowledge is the words that holds the power from how you use them…..The End…..

Take care *

Steve Anderson
DOC #288318

PEOPLE DO WHAT OTHER SEE……

*When times are tough, uncertainty is high, and chaos threatens to overwhelm everyone, followers need a clear picture from their leader the most…

Thats when they need a leader who can embrace the uncertainty with answers and action that produces enery , passion, and motivation to keep going…

Good leaders are always conscious of the fact that they are setting
the eample and others are going to do what they do, for
better or wore..

When times are tough, uncertainty is high and chaos threatens to overwhelm everyone, followers need a clear picture from their leader the most..

That’s when they need a leader who embraces the situation at hand, that’s also when others will see the quality of a leader produce energy, passion,
and motivation to keep going..

Great leaders always seem to embody two seemingly disparate qualities..

They are both highly visionary and high practical..

Our vision enables us to see beyond the immediate..

One envision what’s coming and what must be done..

Leaders possess an understanding of how..

Mission provides purpose ~ answering the question, WHY ?

Vision provides a picture~ answering the question, WHAT ?

Strategy provides a plan~ answering the question, HOW ?

The higher you go in leadership, the more your work is about
the future..”

At the some time, leaders are pracical enough to know that vision
without action achieves nothing..

They make themselves responsible for helping their followers to take action..

Now sometimes that can be difficult because followers often can not envision the future as the leader does..

Leaders are stewards of the vision, so to assist another with a vision
is to communicate about the vision..

Don’t get me wrong : communication is certainly important..

Good leaders must communicate the vision clearly, creatively, and continually..

That’s not to say leaders have all the answers..

Anyone who has lead well know that..

Leaders who make the greatest impact are often those who lead well
in the midst of uncertainty..

We all have some kind of leadership quality one must just give
time to add to what’s there..

Why would anyone say these words ~ I CAN’T DO THAT,,,,,

Whenever you choose to use those words all you did was talk
yourself out of doing what can be done….

Take care *

Steve Anderson
DOC #288318

DOG QUOTE

I heard this and really liked it. Made me think of when the dogs leave. I remember a comment I got asking how I feel about when my dog leaves. This is the perfect little saying.

Don’t cry because its over…
Smile because it happened…

Jesse Bailey
DOC #879476

A collection of blogs written by men in prison.

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